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in the absence of expected disaster, we are
left again to what we do not want to be
left again to: each other—each other’s eyes

to Hive being

welcome

What is Hive Being, and Why the Name?

You have likely heard talk of a hive mind, where one global mind finds more or less figurative expression in various local minds. Such talk is common enough in nature documentaries, especially ones concerning ants or bees, and in sci-fi programs. Take that notion, at least a loose version of it, and broaden its scope. That will be a decent first step in understanding the title I have chosen both for my Blog and for the first five-volume installment of my magnum opus Made For You and Me, a fragmentary collection of minimalist stanzas from 2016 to 2020.

In alignment with Spinoza (the 17th Century Rationalist to whom I devoted my doctoral studies), I view reality in its totality as a grand hive Being: all entities are but pulsating manifestations of the buckstopping fount of everything, an ultimate being we might call “God” or “Nature” (so long as, out of respect for the capital “G” and the capital “N,” we limit it neither to some anthropomorphic cloud father hurling lightning bolts nor to mere wilderness untouched by human smog). According to the hive-Being view (where reality is one lone superorganism, a monistic—and we might even say unividualist—conception I defend in both my creative and academic capacities), each non-foundational being (each being, that is, whose essence does not involve existence) is an utterly necessitated expression or eruption or exudation of this eternal source—each is, perhaps better put, a mode or manner of being, and so a focal point through which is disclosed, what classical theists sometimes call “being itself” (ipsum esse subsistens): the realness of the real, the being of whatever may be, the sheer activity of being, the very isness of whatever is. This Blog, which duplicates my Substack, throbs as but one among many literary unfurlings of this self-necessitated foundation, this supreme wellspring, of which we—like black holes and broken beliefs, like fractal ferns and flickering flames—are the inevitable stylings.

My Journey

I am an academic who found himself pressured into early retirement by the rising tides of cancel culture. The illiberal scourge of censoring, silencing, and shaming—although always with us throughout our evolution—reached a local peak around 2021. That was the turbulent year my creative pursuits, which the old left once encouraged as a healthy outlet for the stresses of a childhood steeped in poverty and illiteracy, drew the ire of the new safe-space left. A small cadre of self-proclaimed victims and their allies, several of whom continue to berate me years later under pseudonyms as see through as their sexual infatuation, sought to erase me and my heterodoxy. They found support from a wannabe-woke dean, covered in the grand inquisitor robes of our decadent modernity (full-body tattoos) and just itching to signal his commitment to protecting “vulnerable populations” from triggering material (even if just, as it was in my case, off-duty poems “unbecoming for someone calling himself a teacher”). Although I eventually won my due-process case with the help of The Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression, I slunk away from a college that turned its back on protecting freedom of expression and from an institution increasingly intolerant of intellectual diversity.  

The wrecking ball to my too-comfy office in the windowless ivory tower came with a silver lining. From the ashes of my professional aspirations rose a phoenix of increased freedom to fulfill the literary calling I have pursued for decades. Reputation concerns never stopped me, even within academia’s sterile halls of conformity. Indeed, my unapologetic defiance, which has long baffled friends and family, no doubt chummed even safe waters—almost as if I were asking for it all along—until the cancel shiver grew too frenzied to hold back its blind thrashings. But now, now I piston the most forbidden territories of human thought with no longer even a twinge of conscience. The newfound freedom means extra time to hone my craft. When not assisting special-needs communities (a day job far more rewarding than freeway-flyer drudgeries), I pursue my literary mission with Dionysian fervor.

Call for Co-Conspirators

This space, my digital sanctuary, showcases the fruits of my mission. Think of my posts, even those linking to my publications, as works in progress. I want your input, unflinching brutality included. Each post begins with an invitation to action: “Let’s workshop this [draft about x, y, z].” Your contributions, whether through public comments or my contact page, help hammer scraps of ore into polished blades fit for magazine publication.

Your input is valuable, even if you are neither a writer nor a reader of literature—twin disciplines dying by the cyber nanosecond. Sometimes—even if at the risk of uttering banalities—an outsider’s fresh vantage can pierce the veils of convention to reveal what insiders miss. It often takes an outsider to make us even think to question our ingrained presuppositions and attitudes. I stand by the hygienic value of contagion. That is one reason I advocate so strongly for intellectual diversity and freedom of expression. And that is also one reason I was so harrowed by the anti-diversity swell of cancel culture in academia (an institution that should be the utmost caretaker of such values)—harrowed especially insofar as that swell masqueraded under the gaslighting guise of “diversity”).

You will witness the breathing evolution of my writings over time. To track these changes, I label each revision by round: “ROUND 2,” ROUND 3,” and so forth. Each piece undergoes continuous refinement based on your feedback and my own revisitations. Sometimes changes will mar the work. That is the risk of creative tinkering as a finite creature. I hope you will alert me to missteps. After many semesters of university writing workshops, one rule has impressed itself upon me: when someone senses a flaw, something almost always needs to change—even if, yes, the proposed solution misses the mark (which often it does). From a quick look into the archives, accessible here, you can see how much I have benefited from your feedback so far.

My Hope

Sharing drafts can be daunting. But showing you the ravaged and unperfumed real deal unfiltered by makeup (stuttering starts and falsities, awkward line breaks and clumsy word choices, grammatical errors and misspellings)—that not only makes my work more relatable, but helps me refine things through your input. I hope the unfiltered look at the raw process of fumbling, rather than just the polished product, also helps other writers develop their craft. Imperfect works often instruct more than perfect ones: whereas the perfect ones tend to have a grace by which they slip inside us without activating our scrutiny, the imperfect ones—especially the near perfect ones—show us glaringly what not to do.

People laugh at me, seeing—in my tilting at the windmills of literary excellence—a Don Quixote clunking around in Arthurian armor in a post-knight era. I am not naïve. I am well aware of the diminishing ability to read, let alone well: slowly and deeply, with gratitude. I am also aware that my style, which often nests subpoints within larger points, never waters down virtuosity for the sake of mass appeal. I watch readers stumble over my sentences, unable to unlock even just the music of the envelope let alone the semantic meat within, which—given my tendency to flashlight through the darker facets of human nature (the addicts, the miscreants, the abusers among us)—only adds an additional alienating layer of difficulty). Beholding these depressive scenes of even supportive family members getting bucked off my syntactic bronco makes me feel like a dinosaur who should get a hint and, if not succumb to the brain rot of skibidi-toilet speak, just hang himself already. Even though the decline in linguistic background and grammatical voltage makes my compositions seem quixotic in a world binging Netflix and TikTok, I persist—raging against the dying of the light—by some internal compulsion to celebrate the richness of language and thought.

My hope is that, despite social media’s unparalleled power to farm our attention, people never forget the unique power of writing. Beyond unveiling hypocrisy, teasing out complex implications, and detailing the commonalities between even the most alien phenomena, writing offers something we need today—trapped in agoraphobic cyber bubbles only thickened by the Lyme dangers of forests and the COVID dangers of cities—perhaps more than ever. Granting us rich access to the first-person perspectives of others (to how things feel to them), writing serves as one of humanity’s best tools for combating loneliness. It allows us to linger, broadly and deeply and at high resolution, within the inner lives of others in a way that other arts can only suggest.

What to Expect

My work spans a broad spectrum: from metaphysical discourses on free will and determinism and the ontology of holes to the ephemera of western culture (whether the childhood impacts of the hypersexual mono-image of black woman as squirting twerkers or Terrence Howard’s sham revolution of mathematics). Some tight and minimal, others free-flowing sprawls; some heady and abstract, others emotional and imagistic—my inkwell musings, which often blend scholarly rigor with a dark humor from both high and low culture, aim to capture the visceral intensity of our personal and social and ultimately existential predicaments.

By no means can I deny that drug abuse, sexual assault, and the tales of the broken and the damned loom large in the tag cloud of my work. My writing will never be a paradise of easy truths and comforting lies. It will challenge you, provoke you, and at times even repulse you. I offer no apologies for the monsters I unleash. They are as much a part of us, at long root scared rodent mammals scurrying in the shadows of dinosaurs, as our noblest aspirations.

But make no mistake. It is not all downer darkness. The archives are my receipts. You will find pieces exploring the pursuit of authenticity in a media-saturated world, the search for meaning in an indifferent cosmos, and the celebration of beauty in both the sublime and the profane. I locate much of my inspiration, in fact, in novelists like Dostoevsky and poets like Ted Kooser—writers unafraid to pursue moral agendas or risk Hallmark sentimentality in an age that often sneers at sincerity.

Be they satirical dissections of modern social dynamics or poignant poems about addiction or academic articles on moral responsibility, my goal is to provoke thought, evoke emotion, and foster meaningful dialogue. Fear has not and will not stop me from challenging humanity’s fundamental taboos (like bestiality and cannibalism) or self-reflecting into the dark chaos of the subconscious, even if that means exposing the Jungian shadows—the inner Goebbels—lurking within us all!

Expect posts each day, no day missed. Donations are welcome, but I impose no paywall: it feels wrong to charge for art, especially given our date with obliteration. Feel free to explore what amounts to, at the time of writing this, close to a thousand pieces of poetry and prose here. That should give you a sense of what awaits.

Join me—specula holstered—on this literary odyssey into the public and private nooks of the hive Being. Let us navigate the labyrinth of creation together, confronting our demons and even slaying our darlings if we must. Let us dance on the razor’s edge between the sublime and the profane in pursuit of an elusive literary perfection never to be confused—as it has been confused in our declining civilization—with the pursuit of popularity or likeability over truth.

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Pima People Penning Pueblo Poems
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Pima People Penning Pueblo Poems

"Pima People Penning Pueblo Poems" is a polemical poem that critically engages with contemporary identitarianism and the "OwnVoices" movement, arguing that its application is often a "Machiavellian power grab" rooted in "self-serving selectivity." The poem functions as a critique of identity politics, specifically challenging the perceived hypocrisy and inherent limitations of restricting artistic representation based solely on identity markers.

Formally, the poem is concise and uses a direct, almost accusatory tone, building its argument through a series of conditional statements and logical extensions. The title, "Pima People Penning Pueblo Poems," immediately sets up a seemingly unproblematic scenario of "OwnVoices" representation, implying a culturally specific and authentic creation. However, the poem's opening lines introduce the central critique: "Were it not at root / a Machiavellian power grab / of self-serving selectivity, #OwnVoices / identitarianism would gag / not just white from writing about black." This immediate negation of the perceived altruism of the #OwnVoices movement, labeling it a "power grab," is the poem's foundational assertion. The hashtag "#OwnVoices" grounds the critique firmly in current discourse. The enjambment throughout maintains a brisk, argumentative pace. The poem then extends its argument to a more radical and unsettling conclusion: "but also you—even / if black, queer, cripple— / from writing (with your memory / contraband) about past you." This is the poem's core rhetorical maneuver. By including individuals who possess multiple marginalized identities ("black, queer, cripple"), the poem attempts to demonstrate what it portrays as the inherent absurdity and ultimate self-defeating nature of rigid identity-based restrictions.

Thematically, the poem fundamentally questions the logic and ethical implications of identity essentialism in artistic production. It posits that if "OwnVoices" principles were applied consistently and without "self-serving selectivity," they would logically lead to an impossible scenario: even an individual with a marginalized identity would be "gag[ged]" from writing about their own past self if that past self is somehow distinct or "contraband" from their present identity. This serves as a reductio ad absurdum argument, aiming to expose what the poem perceives as the fundamental flaw in strictly limiting representation based on fixed identity categories. The phrase "memory / contraband" is particularly potent, suggesting that the very act of personal remembrance and artistic exploration across one's own life experiences could be deemed illegitimate if subjected to an overly rigid identitarian framework. The poem thus argues that true artistic freedom and authentic expression are inherently stifled when constrained by such narrow definitions, proposing that the ultimate outcome of such movements, if followed to their logical extreme, would be a universal gagging of creative exploration, even of the self.

identity politics, OwnVoices, identitarianism, artistic freedom, representation, censorship, cultural critique, polemic, essentialism, self-serving, hypocrisy, memory, contraband, reductio ad absurdum, literary theory, contemporary poetry.

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Kardashian Razor
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Kardashian Razor

"Kardashian Razor" is a poem that critically examines the interplay of globalized aesthetic standards, particularly within explicit media, and their impact on notions of authenticity, diversity, and cultural distinctiveness. The poem implicitly poses a question regarding the durability of specific, non-Western aesthetic forms against a perceived dominant, homogenizing influence.

Formally, the poem's concise structure and use of evocative, contrasting imagery contribute to its critical argument. The title, "Kardashian Razor," functions as a potent cultural signifier, immediately evoking contemporary Western beauty ideals often associated with a highly curated and specific aesthetic, implying a process of shaping or removal ("Razor"). This establishes the dominant cultural force that the poem interrogates. The opening lines, "Armenian porn pussy remains / overgrown (thigh creep / like Bluto’s jaw)," introduce a specific aesthetic standard characterized by "hirsute-feral" qualities, representing a form of raw, untamed, or unrefined sexuality. The simile "like Bluto's jaw" further emphasizes this primal, perhaps even aggressively natural, aspect. This initial image represents a "transportive, exoticism-preserving standard" that the poem suggests is in tension with the prevailing aesthetic. The central inquiry of the poem is then articulated: "but how long / until the gooseflesh monocrop... kills web travel / to pre-Soviet hearths..." The "gooseflesh monocrop" serves as a powerful metaphor for a standardized, artificially perfected, and potentially mass-produced aesthetic, specifically in a sexual context, aligning with the "infant-bald standard" of Western hegemony. The parenthetical "already in HD on war-torn / goat farms" extends the critique to the global reach and potentially exploitative origins of this pervasive aesthetic, suggesting its widespread dissemination even in unlikely locales. This "monocrop" is depicted as an encroaching force that threatens to "kill web travel" to alternative, culturally distinct forms of experience. The poem expresses a longing for a past represented by "pre-Soviet hearths / of creaky woodcraft where / we can suckle iron-fierce maternity?" This final imagery suggests a return to a more fundamental, less mediated, and culturally specific form of origin or connection—one characterized by a rugged, authentic, and "iron-fierce" quality, directly contrasting with the homogenized, "razored" perfection symbolized by the title.

Thematically, the poem engages with the dynamics of cultural hegemony and resistance in aesthetic and sexual domains. It highlights a perceived conflict between a specific "Armenian porn's hirsute-feral standard"—which the poem presents as embodying a particular kind of "exoticism-preserving" and raw beauty—and the "diversity-killing hegemony of the West’s infant-bald standard." The "Kardashian Razor" thus becomes emblematic of a cultural force that seeks to homogenize and alter natural forms to fit a prevailing, mass-produced ideal. The "gooseflesh monocrop" underscores this fear of a singular, dominant aesthetic wiping out variety. The poem interrogates the sustainability of culturally specific expressions of sexuality and beauty when confronted with globally disseminated, technologically enhanced (HD) standards. The yearning for "pre-Soviet hearths" and "iron-fierce maternity" suggests a desire for a return to cultural roots and a more authentic, less commodified or altered, experience of sexuality and connection, implicitly valuing cultural particularity and natural forms over a globalized, uniform aesthetic.

cultural hegemony, aesthetic standards, pornography, authenticity, diversity, globalization, cultural critique, Westernization, homogenization, sexuality, media influence, modern beauty, resistance, exoticism, cultural particularity, bodily aesthetics.

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Business Casual
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Business Casual

"Business Casual" is a satirical and darkly humorous poem that redefines the nature of evil, arguing that its most pervasive and chilling form is not overt horror or extreme violence, but rather the mundane, bureaucratic, and "corny" aspects of organized banality. It functions as a critique of institutionalized evil and the normalization of the absurd, challenging conventional notions of what constitutes true "shadow" or horror.

Formally, the poem is structured as an argument by negation and redefinition. It begins by explicitly dismissing traditional, sensationalized images of evil: "not Nazi ovens / or Pompeiian pyroclastic ash clouds, / let alone crucifix pussy stabs / or pea-soup horror tropes—". This immediate rejection of graphic and extreme forms of horror sets up the poem's central thesis. The enjambment between these lines creates a quick, dismissive rhythm, underscoring the speaker's contempt for these conventional representations. The core assertion then arrives: "that—not Nazi ovens...— / is the truer face of shadow:". The "that" refers back to the opening line, "All of it is corny as hell," establishing banality and "corniness" as the true essence of terror. The final lines provide the clinching evidence for this argument: "even satanist organizations / have lanyards, QR codes, PayPal / portals for quarterly dues." This juxtaposition of the inherently transgressive and frightening (satanist organizations) with the utterly mundane and bureaucratic (lanyards, QR codes, PayPal, quarterly dues) is the poem's comedic and critical punchline. It highlights the insidious creep of corporate and bureaucratic structures into every corner, even those traditionally associated with rebellion or profound evil.

Thematically, the poem delves into the banality of evil, echoing Hannah Arendt's famous concept, but twisting it to include not just the administrative aspects of horrific acts, but the inherent "corniness" and tediousness of even seemingly "dark" organizations. It suggests that the true "shadow" or threat is not the spectacular manifestation of malevolence, but the insidious process by which anything, even radical evil, can be subsumed by corporate structure, routine, and a veneer of "business casual" normalcy. The poem implies that the most terrifying aspect of evil is its capacity to be systematized, regularized, and stripped of its dramatic flair, thereby becoming less recognizable and more easily integrated into the fabric of everyday life. By humorously reducing satanism to a corporate entity, the poem critiques the pervasive influence of corporate culture and bureaucracy, suggesting that these forces are the ultimate homogenizers, draining even the most extreme forms of human expression or belief of their inherent danger or meaning, leaving behind only the "corny" husk of organizational ritual.

satire, banality of evil, institutionalization, bureaucracy, corporate culture, mundane, horror, evil, normalization, absurdity, dark humor, social commentary, critique, contemporary poetry.

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Hashtagged Plantation
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Hashtagged Plantation

"Hashtagged Plantation" is a profound and thought-provoking poem that, alongside its integral dedication and explanatory note, explores the complex nature of historical reckoning, empathy, and genuine healing in contemporary society. Dedicated to turntablist Rob Swift for his "unwavering humanism," the poem endeavors to embody a spirit that calls for transcending narrow identity frames and inherited roles. It functions as a meditation on the challenging path to true understanding and reconciliation, urging readers to confront uncomfortable truths about shared human capacities.

Formally, the poem is concise and employs evocative, layered imagery. The title, "Hashtagged Plantation," immediately establishes a tension between a site of profound historical trauma and a modern, often superficial, act of digital categorization, suggesting the complexities of engaging with the past in the present era. The dedication to Rob Swift frames the poem's core philosophical aspiration: to encourage a broader, more inclusive empathy. The poem then paints a scene of participants embarking on "a day of healing" amidst the "haunted hush of slave cotton." The phrase "breath rank with McCruelty" introduces a subtle yet powerful contemporary critique, drawing a parallel between historical suffering and modern forms of detached consumption, as elaborated in the accompanying note. The central experience unfolds as individuals "descend the tour bus steps / to cast yourself back— / whether whipping or whipped— / solely into skin like your own." The enjambment guides the reader through this metaphorical and literal descent. The phrase "solely into skin like your own" is pivotal, highlighting a common, yet for the poem, limited, approach to historical empathy that the poem seeks to expand beyond.

Thematically, the poem, powerfully augmented by its explanatory note, delves into the necessity of expansive empathy and self-reckoning for authentic healing. It suggests that a superficial engagement with history, focused only on one's "own skin," risks deepening divides rather than fostering true understanding. The poem advocates for a difficult but essential imaginative leap: to "imagine ourselves in the role of both oppressor and oppressed." This is presented not as an erasure of distinct historical experiences, but as a recognition that "the capacity for both roles—master, slave—lives in each of us." The note explicitly connects this inherent human capacity to contemporary, seemingly mundane acts of detached consumption, such as "gobbling down... the flesh of factory-farmed torture," drawing a poignant parallel between historical systems of cruelty and modern ethical blind spots. The poem suggests that resistance to this uncomfortable self-reflection—the refusal to acknowledge one's own potential for complicity or cruelty—leads to a "malady" that "deepens," thereby preventing "true healing." Thus, "Hashtagged Plantation" is a call for a more profound and challenging form of historical engagement, one rooted in a universal humanism that acknowledges the complex, sometimes disturbing, facets of human nature for the sake of genuine reconciliation.

historical reckoning, empathy, healing, humanism, identity, reconciliation, self-reckoning, historical trauma, collective memory, moral complexity, shared humanity, oppressor, oppressed, ethical reflection, contemporary poetry, social commentary.

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Go to the Protest Strapped, like Catullus
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Go to the Protest Strapped, like Catullus

"Go to the Protest Strapped, like Catullus" is an incendiary and deeply transgressive poem that deliberately adopts an extreme, offensive ethical stance to critique the weaponization of ancestral blame. Falling squarely into the invective tradition of Catullus, it uses shock value, crude language, and a provocative reversal of accusations to achieve its rhetorical aim. The poem's power lies in its willingness to descend into the grotesque to make a pointed, albeit controversial, argument about accountability and historical grievance.

Formally, the poem is terse and aggressive, employing direct address and a stark, unadorned vocabulary. The title immediately establishes the poem's lineage: "Go to the Protest Strapped, like Catullus" invokes the Roman poet's notorious use of personal attacks and sharp wit, while "Strapped" carries a double entendre of being prepared for confrontation, both verbally and physically. The poem sets up a hypothetical scenario: "If a gorilla blames you / for the supposed sins of your ancestors / (stolen land, slave rape)," presenting serious, historically charged accusations. The sudden pivot in the third stanza is the poem's central rhetorical maneuver: "nonsense (but hey, gorilla blood), / blame him for his mother’s sin: / that cum-guzzler cunt, / that unbeweaveable baboon, / clearly having rutted her hog furrow / across the species line." This graphic and highly offensive counter-attack is a deliberate act of inversion and escalation. The parenthetical "but hey, gorilla blood" sarcastically acknowledges the premise of ancestral blame, before immediately applying it to the accuser in a crude and dehumanizing manner. The language is designed to provoke, using bestial and sexual slurs to reduce the "gorilla" (the accuser) to a figure of primal, amoral depravity.

Thematically, the poem engages with the contentious issue of intergenerational guilt and historical grievance, particularly as it relates to contemporary social justice discourse. The "absurd ethical position" it adopts is the literal application of ancestral blame: if one is to be held accountable for the "sins of your ancestors," then, the poem provocatively asks, why can't that same logic be applied indiscriminately to anyone, including the accuser? The invective serves not as a genuine moral argument, but as a reductio ad absurdum, pushing the premise of inherited guilt to a repugnant extreme to expose what the poem perceives as its inherent illogic or hypocrisy when weaponized. By blaming the "gorilla" for its "mother’s sin" involving "species line" transgression, the poem implicitly critiques the idea that genetic or racial lineage automatically confers moral culpability or the right to accuse. It's a brutal, offensive, and dangerous attempt to strip the moral authority from those who levy accusations of ancestral sin by mirroring and escalating the very logic they employ. The poem forces a confrontation with the ugliness that can emerge when complex historical grievances are reduced to simplified, weaponized accusations and counter-accusations.

invective, Catullus, ancestral guilt, intergenerational blame, historical grievance, social commentary, satire, provocation, taboos, offensive language, dehumanization, reductio ad absurdum, moral absurdity, weaponization, accountability, race, identity politics.

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Edging La Grande Mort
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Edging La Grande Mort

"Edging La Grande Mort" is a visceral, unsettling poem that plunges into the dark, dangerous intersection of sexual obsession, substance abuse, and the very real threat of death. It functions as a body horror lyric, using explicit physiological details and psychological insight to depict a moment of intense, self-destructive indulgence. The poem's power lies in its unflinching portrayal of a highly taboo subject and the terrifying consequences of pushing one's body to its limits for a perverse pleasure.

Formally, the poem is remarkably compressed, achieving its intense effect through a dense concentration of highly charged vocabulary and a rapid, almost breathless rhythm created by enjambment. The title itself, "Edging La Grande Mort," immediately sets a grim, ironic tone, playing on the sexual practice of "edging" (prolonging arousal) and linking it directly to "La Grande Mort" (the "Big Death," a euphemism for orgasm, here twisted into actual death). The opening lines, "Blood arousal sucked / skullward, away from half-mast cock, / over the chafed hour-plus / on the toilet—" instantly establish the grim, solitary, and physically uncomfortable setting of this indulgence. The shift of blood "skullward" indicates a shift from physical sexual gratification to a more cerebral, dangerous high. The crucial turning point arrives with "the terror / spike of realizing your hot cocaine fap / has had you conflating / mounting tachycardia / for mounting payload only propels / the sprint toward infarction." This is where the grim reality shatters the delusion. The "hot cocaine fap" explicitly names the drivers of this dangerous act, while "conflating / mounting tachycardia / for mounting payload" reveals the fatal error in perception: the physiological signs of a heart attack are misinterpreted as signs of intensified sexual pleasure. The final phrase, "the sprint toward infarction," delivers the chilling, undeniable consequence, leaving the reader with a stark image of self-annihilation.

Thematically, the poem explores the dangerous feedback loop between addiction, warped perception, and self-destruction. The protagonist is so consumed by his "hot cocaine fap" that his body's warning signs of distress (tachycardia) are not only ignored but actively reinterpreted as a desirable intensification of pleasure. This highlights a profound cognitive dissonance and a terrifying disconnect from self-preservation. The poem delves into the psychology of extreme indulgence, where the pursuit of sensation overrides all rational thought and biological warnings. The "chafed hour-plus / on the toilet" underscores the degraded and isolated nature of the act. Ultimately, "Edging La Grande Mort" serves as a stark and unsparing warning against the perils of unchecked desire and the fatal consequences of misinterpreting the body's signals in the pursuit of extreme sensation, portraying a voluntary, terrifying rush towards an ignominious end.

sexual obsession, cocaine abuse, addiction, self-destruction, body horror, erotic horror, heart attack, tachycardia, physiological distress, warped perception, cognitive dissonance, taboo, self-annihilation, dark desire, warning, contemporary poetry.

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Husband of a Special-Ed Teacher
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Husband of a Special-Ed Teacher

"Husband of a Special-Ed Teacher" is a disturbing and highly transgressive poem that plunges into the murky depths of sexuality, personal compulsion, and the intersection of fetish with professional identity. It operates as a piece of erotic horror poetry, using explicit and often repulsive imagery to create a sense of discomfort and ethical unease. The poem's power stems from its unblinking portrayal of a taboo subject, forcing the reader to confront the abject and the biological realities of risk and consequence.

Formally, the poem is remarkably compact, achieving its intense effect through a dense concentration of highly charged vocabulary and jarring juxtapositions. The opening lines immediately establish a graphic and clinical tone: "Parting her thunder thighs, head / gobblers, with the simian bluntness / of stirrup sterility." The phrase "simian bluntness" describes the man's actions, imbued with a primal, almost animalistic quality, while "stirrup sterility" evokes a cold, medicalized environment, directly contrasting with the intimacy of the sexual act. The enjambment creates a breathless, almost frantic rhythm, mirroring the intensity of the scene. The comparison of the man's "fidgety love" to a "cocaine cop" meticulously "fingering / for lesions, tonguing mucus" is particularly unsettling. This simile merges the act of lovemaking with a forensic, almost compulsive examination, rooted in his autistic tendencies and a fear of sickness. His actions are portrayed as unsexy and clumsy, driven by a compulsion he rationalizes as caution, rather than predatory intent.

Thematically, the poem explores a deeply problematic dynamic where the man's neurodivergent behavior is pathologized in a typical context but, paradoxically, indulged here. The core of the poem's thematic tension lies in the final lines: "his fidgety love... was autism undercover as fear / (but it tickled her jail-worthy kink)." This highly controversial statement introduces the idea that his autistic traits, manifesting as a specific type of anxious or clumsy love-making, are what specifically align with the woman's "retard kink." This reveals a disturbing complicity and mutual descent into morally ambiguous territory, where her particular fetish finds gratification in his unique presentation of intimacy. The title, "Husband of a Special-Ed Teacher," adds another layer of unsettling irony and ethical complexity. A special-ed teacher is typically associated with care, understanding, and the nurturing of vulnerable individuals. To juxtapose this profession with such a graphic and ethically dubious sexual encounter creates a profound cognitive dissonance, highlighting a stark disjunction between public persona and private pathology. The speaker of the poem, the poetic voice, functions as an observer who unflinchingly presents this dark intersection of desire and pathology, rather than being a character within the narrative itself. The poem ultimately serves as a stark and challenging exploration of the perverse aspects of human desire, the unsettling nature of secret fetishes, and the potential for dark psychological undercurrents to reside beneath seemingly normal veneers.

erotic horror, sexual transgression, fetish, pathology, power dynamics, dehumanization, medical imagery, neurodivergence, complicity, moral ambiguity, dark sexuality, psychological exploration, disturbing imagery, taboo, cognitive dissonance, perversion, hidden desires, autism, retard kink, clumsy lover, unsexy behavior, poetic voice.

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Vigil for an Out
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Vigil for an Out

"Vigil for an Out" is a stark and unsettling portrait of paranoia, existential despair, and self-destruction, depicting a figure trapped in a cycle of fear and internal torment. The poem operates as a psychological character study, rendered with a raw, unflinching gaze that aligns it with a brutalist lyric tradition. Its power lies in its succinct yet potent imagery, which effectively conveys a mind on the brink.

Formally, the poem is tightly wound, with each line contributing to a sense of escalating tension and claustrophobia. The opening image, "Muttering through nicotine blinds, / pistol cocked at any car / idling too long curbside," immediately establishes a scene of extreme paranoia and defensive aggression. The enjambment creates a breathless quality, mirroring the agitated state of the subject. The shift in the second stanza to the "mangy mirror" introduces a powerful metaphor for self-loathing and internal conflict. This "mirror" is not merely a reflection but an externalized manifestation of his inner turmoil, a "who" that "barks and bites at everyone," including himself. The final lines, "tinnitus scrambling its brain / not enough to drown out / the joint fires ruinous to sleep," provide a visceral sensory detail that encapsulates his relentless suffering. The "tinnitus" suggests an internal noise that cannot be escaped, while "joint fires" alludes to the physical decay and self-inflicted harm (likely from smoking) that further erode his peace.

Thematically, the poem delves into a profound sense of existential dread and the desire for oblivion. The man "itches for prebirth blank," a chilling yearning for non-existence, for a return to a state before consciousness and suffering. This desire is so pervasive it is mirrored by his own distorted self-image. The "vigil for an out" in the title becomes chillingly ambiguous: is it a lookout for an escape from his circumstances, or a vigil for his own demise? The poem suggests a complete breakdown of internal and external boundaries, where the man's fear, aggression, and self-inflicted wounds are all synchronously reinforcing vectors within a single, horrifying ecology of psychological torment. It portrays a life lived in a state of perpetual alert, devoid of peace, and consumed by an internal battle that externalizes as aggression and internalizes as a longing for annihilation.

paranoia, existential dread, self-destruction, psychological torment, brutalist lyric, nihilism, anxiety, fear, addiction, insomnia, mental breakdown, self-loathing, aggression, urban decay, contemporary poetry, visceral imagery, internal conflict, oblivion.

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Seroconversion Cruising Grounds
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Seroconversion Cruising Grounds

"Seroconversion Cruising Grounds" is a profoundly unsettling and viscerally graphic poem that delves into themes of illicit sexual encounter, disease, and the grotesque intersection of pleasure and peril. It operates as a stark, uncompromising piece within the body horror lyric tradition, using explicit physiological imagery to evoke a sense of revulsion and discomfort. The poem's power lies in its unblinking portrayal of a taboo subject, forcing the reader to confront the abject and the biological realities of risk and consequence.

Formally, the poem is tightly condensed, employing a spare and precise vocabulary to create its disturbing imagery. The use of enjambment ("fecal sludge / pools," "waveform / contour fluctuating") contributes to a sense of fluid, almost inexorable movement, mimicking the "pullback" described in the second stanza. The central image of "fecal sludge / pools at the hilt / of the continence-wrecker" is a particularly potent and confrontational metaphor, immediately establishing the poem's transgressive nature and its focus on the violation of bodily integrity. The "waveform / contour fluctuating / with every pullback" is a chillingly clinical description of a repulsive act, lending a disturbing scientific detachment to the scene. The comparison to "a time-lapsed beach’s scuzzy scum line" further emphasizes the accumulation of filth and decay, linking the personal act to a broader, almost ecological sense of degradation.

Thematically, the poem is a meditation on the grotesque and the abject, specifically in the context of sexual encounters fraught with danger. The titular "Seroconversion Cruising Grounds" immediately establishes a backdrop of risk and potential infection (seroconversion referring to the development of antibodies in response to an infection). The explicit imagery serves to underscore the literal and metaphorical "contamination" at play. The climax of the poem arrives with the shocking "inversion, demonic / as toes-ever-inward ballet, / of the life corona of cervical mucus." This final comparison is a masterstroke of horrifying juxtaposition. Cervical mucus, in its "life corona," signifies fertility, creation, and the potential for new life. Its "demonic" inversion with "fecal sludge" not only signifies sterility and decay but also suggests a perversion of natural processes, a deliberate embrace of the destructive over the generative. The "toes-ever-inward ballet" adds a layer of unnatural contortion, reinforcing the sense of something profoundly wrong and deliberately twisted. The poem ultimately functions as a chilling exploration of desire pushed to its most perilous limits, where the pursuit of sensation intersects with the specter of disease and the violation of the sacred.

Meta Description:

A viscerally graphic poem dissects illicit sexual encounter, disease, and the grotesque, portraying the "death corona of fecal sludge" as a "demonic inversion" of life-affirming processes, exploring the chilling intersection of pleasure and peril.

Keywords:

sexual transgression, body horror, disease, seroconversion, grotesque, abject, bodily fluids, anal sex, sexual risk, perversion, contamination, visceral imagery, taboo, erotic horror, biological decay, inversion, fertility vs. sterility, transgressive poetry, human sexuality, moral decay.

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Milk-Bone®
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Milk-Bone®

The poem "Milk-Bone®" is a terse yet potent exploration of betrayal, violence, and the unsettling nature of memory, particularly as it relates to formative experiences and the corruption of innocence. It operates within a brutalist lyric tradition, employing stark, visceral imagery and an absence of sentimentalism to dissect a deeply disturbing encounter. The poem's power lies in its elliptical narration, which hints at a traumatic event without fully explicating it, thereby drawing the reader into a position of uneasy inference.

Formally, the poem's syntax is tightly coiled and fragmented, mirroring the constricting force described in the opening lines. The enjambment ("under / the mute gaze," "distract / from the light’s closing") creates a sense of suffocating dread and accelerates the reader's progression through the disturbing imagery. The abrupt shift from the initial violence to the dog's detached, almost ritualistic act of "lapping out / the double-creampie forensics" creates a profound ethical disjunction. This juxtaposition highlights the unsettling normalcy that can accompany or follow acts of profound violation, suggesting a world where innocence (represented by the "childhood dog") is either complicit or utterly oblivious to the grotesque. The final line, "not every Judas needs silver," functions as a chilling aphorism, redefining betrayal not as a transactional act, but as something inherent and perhaps more insidious, requiring no external motivation beyond its own perverse fulfillment. This reconfigures the traditional narrative of betrayal, stripping it of any potential for redemption or even clear-cut motive.

Threaded throughout the poem is a critique of a primal, almost instinctual form of complicity or indifference in the face of suffering. The dog's "deep diligence" in consuming the "forensics" suggests a bestial, amoral engagement with the aftermath of violence, reducing the traumatic event to a mere substance to be consumed. The brand name "Milk-Bone®" in the title becomes a particularly poignant and ironic semiotic marker. It evokes images of domesticity, innocence, and benign animal companionship, directly contrasting with the horrific imagery presented in the poem. This ironic title serves to underscore the profound corruption of these ostensibly wholesome concepts, transforming them into a veneer behind which darker realities fester. The poem thus functions as an epistemological instrument, utilizing the grotesque to expose the insidious mechanisms of psychological fragmentation and the chilling banality of evil.

Meta Description:

A visceral poem dissects a moment of unsettling betrayal and violence, juxtaposing childhood innocence with grotesque aftermath, exploring primal complicity and the corruption of benign symbols through stark, fragmented imagery.

Keywords:

betrayal, childhood trauma, violence, grotesque realism, complicity, corrupted innocence, psychological horror, brutalist lyric, fragmented narrative, moral decay, domestic horror, animal imagery, ironic juxtaposition, psychological disjunction, post-traumatic imagery.

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Hypocorism
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Hypocorism

This prose poem, "Hypocorism," performs a searing deconstruction of illicit desire and manipulated innocence, operating as a chillingly precise ethnographic study of perversion and the abrogation of filial boundaries. It belongs to a brutalist lyric tradition that disdains sentimentality, aligning more with the unflinching psychological dissections of Genet or the visceral anatomies of Bataille than with conventional narrative forms. Here, the text functions as a hermeneutic key to the pathology of control, revealing how language itself becomes a primary instrument of affective and corporeal subjugation.

Formally, the poem's syntax oscillates between hyper-detailed visceral confession and tightly controlled, almost clinically detached self-analysis. The deliberate tension between the man's intellectualized rationalizations (his "inner daimon," his first-year students' readings) and the raw, unvarnished depiction of his actions creates a profound ethical disjunction. This oscillation reflects a sensibility deeply attuned to both the metaphysical abstractions of self-deception and the grotesque materialities of flesh and power. The cumulative effect is a temporally disjunctive psychic ethics, where predatory desire, cultivated innocence, class anxieties, and profound self-loathing coexist not as disparate elements but as synchronously reinforcing vectors within a single, horrifying ecology of relational trauma.

Threaded throughout is a critique of the commodification of innocence and the transactional nature of affection, particularly evident in the father's (or paternal figure's) "day-one condition" and his calculations regarding "middle age offered few second chances for holy tightness this intense." The meticulous rendering of the girl's domestic competence ("cooking and cleaning for her family," "carrying her toddler brother") juxtaposed with her function as "Swiss-cheese sex sleeve" renders her existence a site of grotesque utility, where her developing identity is subsumed by patriarchal consumption. The phrase "Helen of the hood" becomes a complex semiotic marker, simultaneously elevating her beauty to mythical status and grounding it in a context of precarious, consumable value, reflecting both his possessive adoration and the inherent danger he perceives in her burgeoning selfhood.

Yet, despite its explicit transgressions, this is not an exercise in gratuitous shock. Rather, it utilizes the grotesque as an epistemological instrument, a vehicle for exposing the insidious mechanisms of psychological fragmentation and moral decay. The poet seems to interrogate: what specific linguistic structures, what corruptions of familial nomenclature, are required to rationalize and perpetuate such a profound violation? The answer, here, lies in the title itself: "Hypocorism," a term of linguistic analysis, becomes the chilling marker of a perverse taxonomy of desire, transforming endearment into a lexical cage, and rendering the "love" articulated in the final lines a terrifying act of self-preservation rather than genuine care. The ultimate "letting go" is not absolution, but a strategic retreat, a final act of self-serving calculation.

Keywords:

paternalistic abuse, familial trauma, psychological perversion, linguistic manipulation, corrupted innocence, sexual exploitation, power dynamics, moral decay, grotesque realism, intellectualized depravity, socioeconomic anxiety, self-preservation, bildungsroman subversion, toxic masculinity, urban realism, domestic horror, emotional manipulation, consent violation, victim objectification, psychosexual narrative.

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Holy Grail
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Holy Grail

Holy Grail functions as an unrelenting psychoanalytic tableau—specifically, a dramatization of the traumatic loop, where the subject compulsively returns not to mastery but to the eroticized debris field of unmastered violence. Anchored in Freudian repetition compulsion and later reformulated through trauma theorists like Cathy Caruth and Bessel van der Kolk, the poem’s central figure embodies the paradox wherein the traumatized subject becomes erotically fused to her own wound. The speaker spares us the alibi of therapeutic recuperation and instead frames reenactment as libidinal jouissance—“a hyperarousal kink”—laying bare the drive not toward healing but toward self-subjugating spectacle.

The spatial structure of the poem—the dive bar, the dumpster—maps desire onto degradation, where public and private collapse into an exhibitionist hellscape. Clothing is minimized to signal a weaponized visibility (“no panties / to dampen the pheromonic updraft”), a form of erotically tactical exposure that rewires victimhood into a performative dare. The subject's embodiment becomes at once signal and site of desecration, the mirror reflecting not self-recognition but objectification internalized and weaponized as fetish. The speaker’s irony (“let us not kid ourselves”) punctures the veil of liberal trauma discourse, refusing the safe language of victimhood and instead exposing a psychodynamic economy wherein consent, revulsion, and ecstasy braid together in a sadomasochistic ouroboros.

The poem’s second movement links this reenactment to racialized comedy (“Def-Comedy-Jam comedians / roasting white people”), suggesting a shared affective territory between abjection and parody, wherein laughter emerges as both disavowal and defense. The subject, like the comic, heckles from the periphery, weaponizing stereotype and turning vulnerability into provocation. Slurs are hurled as both boundary tests and invitations to transgress, part of the speaker’s assault on normative sexual scripts.

At the poem’s climax, prayer and parody collapse: the subject seeks not love or recognition, but obliteration (“headbutts,” “liver shots”), imagined as the only path to re-accessing the originary jouissance of her trauma. “Stop” and “No” become not refusals but ritual components of the fantasy, the symbolic scaffolding of a desire that disallows safewords. Her agency exists only within the grammar of submission, coded by the language of hope (“her only legitimate hope”) and yet placed outside any redemptive trajectory. The titular Holy Grail, then, is not healing but a sip of ecstasy from the dark chalice of psychic annihilation.

Meta Description:
An unflinching portrait of trauma reenactment as erotically inflected compulsion, this poem interrogates the porous boundary between victimhood and desire, resistance and ritualized submission.

Keywords:
trauma repetition, hyperarousal, jouissance, eroticized degradation, reenactment compulsion, sexual psychodynamics, sadomasochistic ritual, psychoanalytic poetics, performance of victimhood, abjection as agency, gendered spectacle, ironic provocation, embodied prayer, post-traumatic erotics, fatal ecstasy

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 33)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 33)

In this excerpt from "Made for You and Me 2017," M. A. Istvan Jr. weaves together a series of poignant and thought-provoking observations, creating a tapestry of existential reflections and societal critiques. The mosaic of imagery and themes invites readers to delve into the complexities of human experience, touching on addiction, loss, resilience, and the quest for meaning in a seemingly indifferent universe.

The opening line, "junkies, fibrotic even at the quirkiest needle sites, driveling over unspoiled vascularity," immediately sets a tone of decay and desperation. The depiction of addicts, whose bodies bear the scars of their relentless search for veins, highlights the physical and psychological toll of addiction. The reference to "unspoiled vascularity" underscores a yearning for purity and normalcy, a stark contrast to their current state of degradation.

This theme of destruction extends to the natural world with "one’s birth tree choked out by disease." Here, Istvan juxtaposes the personal and the ecological, suggesting a parallel between the corruption of the body and the demise of nature. The imagery of a tree, a symbol of life and growth, succumbing to disease, evokes a sense of inevitable decline that pervades the poem.

The recurring motif of animals and their behaviors serves as a metaphor for human tendencies. "Dogs returning to their vomit" and "preferring the known of misery over the unknown of change" reflect a profound commentary on the human condition. These lines suggest a proclivity to cling to familiar suffering rather than embrace the uncertainty of transformation. The reference to scientists "popping corks in the atomic glow" adds a layer of irony, highlighting the dissonance between scientific celebration and the potential for catastrophic consequences, underscoring the tension between progress and ethical responsibility.

Istvan's exploration of identity and transformation continues with the image of "Brenda’s Adam’s apple in the morning florescence of the hotel bathroom." This line poignantly captures the vulnerability and complexity of gender identity, hinting at the personal struggles and societal judgments faced by those who do not conform to traditional norms. The morning light, often symbolic of new beginnings, here illuminates the ongoing challenges of self-acceptance and societal perception.

The poet's contemplation of mortality and language is evident in the lines, "although we use it each day (and casually), our behavior shows that we find 'dying' to be the most vile word in the language." This reflection on the aversion to death, despite its inevitability, highlights the paradoxical nature of human existence. The subsequent image of an infant, "unkindled to laughter by the faces meant to make it laugh," delving into reflective curiosity, underscores the innate human tendency towards introspection and the search for meaning, even from an early age.

The poem further examines the aftermath of triumph with "is that regular mode of life following a great victory a chance to reflect and reenergize, or one to wonder why you did not simply kill yourself in the climax?" This line starkly portrays the existential void that can follow significant achievements, questioning the purpose and fulfillment derived from success. The image of wearing a "photo-mask of mom so the orphan will feed from the bottle" evokes themes of deception and survival, illustrating the lengths to which individuals go to nurture and sustain life in the face of loss.

Istvan's meditation on generational trauma is evident in "traumas transmuting across generations without deliberate effort," suggesting the pervasive and enduring impact of past wounds on present and future lives. This notion of inherited pain resonates with the subsequent lines on the absurdity of human desires and the search for spiritual enlightenment, emphasizing the cyclical and often futile nature of these pursuits.

The poem concludes with a reflection on the self and the impossibility of fully transcending one's identity. "Religions that ask a given self to discover its own nonexistence ask the impossible of that self" encapsulates the tension between spiritual aspirations and the inherent limitations of human consciousness.

Istvan's "Made for You and Me 2017" is a profound exploration of human frailty, resilience, and the relentless quest for meaning amidst the chaos of existence. Through vivid imagery and poignant reflections, the poet invites readers to confront the darkest and most vulnerable aspects of their own humanity.

M. A. Istvan Jr., Made for You and Me 2017, existential reflections, addiction, identity, resilience, human experience, quest for meaning, societal critique, vivid imagery, poetry, generational trauma, spiritual enlightenment, human frailty, philosophical poetry.

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 32)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 32)

"Squat-crapping on the fanned-out covers of outdated Time at the doctor’s office," a selection from Michael Anthony Istvan Jr.'s "Made for You and Me 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017—part 31)," continues the poet's exploration of contemporary existentialism and societal critiques through fragmented, vivid imagery and darkly humorous vignettes. This section encapsulates a mosaic of human experience, juxtaposing the mundane with the absurd, and the sacred with the profane, to create a disjointed yet profound commentary on modern life.

Istvan’s poem opens with the stark image of "squat-crapping on the fanned-out covers of outdated Time at the doctor’s office," setting a tone of irreverence and decay. This visceral image is mirrored later by "ball-dangling defecation on the chemo center’s magazine table of polite fictions," reinforcing a sense of bodily degradation in spaces meant for healing. These images challenge the reader to confront the raw, unfiltered aspects of human existence that are often sanitized in polite society.

The poet questions the efficacy of collective prayer with "does God better hear a prayer when launched from an entire parish?" This line prompts reflection on the nature of faith and communal belief, juxtaposed with the chaos and fragmentation depicted in other parts of the poem. The imagery of "a flash unbuckle blasts diarrhea at the waiting-room bead maze, children slack jawed" further underscores the juxtaposition between innocence and grotesque reality.

Themes of memory and loss permeate the poem, as seen in "realizing that you are starting to forget what she looked like" and "reading the personal anchors she left behind— / lotion, a brush full of tangles—not as snakeskin, / but as promises that she will come back home." These lines convey the poignancy of holding onto memories and the personal items of loved ones, evoking a deep sense of longing and the passage of time.

The poem also delves into philosophical and psychological musings, such as "it is question begging to say that when the materialist reduces Susan’s pain— / reduces it not just to anybody’s complex of neurophysiology but to Susan’s— / he fails to capture the qualia of her pain, the first-person what-it-is-like-for-her." This reflection on the nature of pain and subjective experience challenges materialist perspectives and invites readers to consider the limitations of empirical understanding.

Istvan continues to weave together disparate elements of modern life, from the absurdity of "motorcycle club patches, and the process of sewing them on" to the critique of consumerism in "Gucci bags over homeless legs." These images serve as commentary on identity, social status, and the often superficial ways we define ourselves and others.

The poem also touches on themes of vulnerability and exploitation, with lines like "not exploiting her vulnerability—his aikido style of exploitation" and "bared-throat defenselessness is itself a defense, / ironclad, around those whose honor (or desire / to signal honor) blocks them from exploiting it." These observations highlight the complex dynamics of power and protection in human relationships.

In "bits of steel from the fallen towers given out as gifts," Istvan reflects on the commodification of tragedy and the ways in which we memorialize and commercialize collective trauma. This theme is echoed in "coffins afloat down city streets," a haunting image that speaks to the pervasive presence of death and the ways it infiltrates everyday life.

Through "Squat-crapping on the fanned-out covers of outdated Time at the doctor’s office," Istvan masterfully captures the fragmented, often contradictory nature of contemporary existence. His use of stark, evocative imagery and philosophical reflections invites readers to engage deeply with the complexities of modern life, confronting both its absurdities and its profound moments of human experience.

existentialism, contemporary poetry, Michael Anthony Istvan Jr., modern life critique, vivid imagery, fragmented narrative, bodily degradation, communal faith, memory and loss, subjective experience, materialism critique, social commentary, vulnerability and exploitation, commodification of tragedy, human experience, philosophical reflections.

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 31)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 31)

In "Kudzu Vines of Cult Indoctrination," a segment from the larger mosaic poem "MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017—part 31)," the poet navigates a labyrinth of modern existential dilemmas and societal critiques. This passage encapsulates the fragmentation and complexity of contemporary life through a series of vivid, often unsettling images that provoke reflection on themes of identity, societal norms, and the human condition.

The opening metaphor of "kudzu vines of cult indoctrination strangling gardens of parental investment" sets the tone for the poem. Kudzu, an invasive species known for its rapid and uncontrollable spread, symbolizes the pervasive and destructive nature of cult-like ideologies. These ideologies suffocate the carefully nurtured values and investments of parents, illustrating a struggle between individual upbringing and overpowering external influences. This metaphor resonates with the anxiety of losing control over one's cultural and moral legacy to more aggressive, external forces.

The following line, "reviving someone only to beat the shit out of them," presents a stark and brutal image. This line conveys a sense of cyclical violence and futility, highlighting the cruelty of giving life only to inflict pain. It reflects a deeper commentary on societal practices that ostensibly aim to help or heal but end up perpetuating harm.

"The furry pause between teen identities seems more pregnant than ever" captures the liminality and turbulence of adolescence. The "furry pause" suggests a moment of softness and uncertainty, a transitional phase laden with potential and anxiety. This period is described as "pregnant," emphasizing its significance and the myriad possibilities it holds for personal growth and identity formation.

"Toes curled away from the cold tile of dawn footsteps" evokes a visceral reaction to discomfort and fear. The image of curling toes in response to cold tiles at dawn suggests a reluctance to face the harsh realities of the new day, symbolizing a broader hesitation to confront uncomfortable truths or challenges.

The poem continues with "wondering whether you were liked because of your race or in spite of it," touching on the complex and often painful considerations of racial identity and acceptance. This line underscores the internal conflict and self-doubt experienced by individuals navigating racially charged environments, where acceptance may be conditional or superficial.

"Illegal to eat a swan—nasty, ornery, source of coronation down—in a land of famine" juxtaposes luxury and necessity, highlighting societal contradictions. The swan, a symbol of beauty and nobility, is protected even in times of extreme scarcity, suggesting misplaced priorities and the absurdities of legal and social norms.

The passage also delves into the dynamics of heroism and resistance with "struggling, real hard, to resist the fatalistic tug of his groomer-camp-counselor look." This line portrays the inner battle against predestined roles or manipulative influences, emphasizing the effort required to maintain autonomy and resist external pressures.

"Dramatic dying, even if tamer than grenade-leaping heroism (even if no more than shunning hospice’s morphined stupor), is—like free-range kids popping wheelies on knee-bloody bikes beyond screens—safeguarded, for now, by the grubby poor" contrasts different forms of valor and the socio-economic factors that preserve certain freedoms. It suggests that genuine, everyday acts of defiance and resilience are often preserved by those living on society's margins.

The poem critiques superficial judgments with "criticized for having subjects too posed even though poses reveal something about them." It acknowledges the value in seemingly artificial presentations, suggesting that poses can convey deeper truths about individuals.

Through lines like "imagine if we did the NBA like we do now our colleges: Team USA competitiveness plunging—China’s prayers answered—as we chase the jungle’s standard of diversity," the poem satirizes contemporary approaches to diversity and inclusion, questioning their impact on merit and excellence.

The final stanzas delve into personal and societal decay, with images of "prison hospice," "cursory editing of old work so as to get to new work," and "the urge to sew together identical twins." These lines evoke a sense of deterioration and the desperate, often absurd attempts to find meaning or connection in a fragmented world.

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 30)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 30)

Michael Anthony Istvan Jr.'s "Made for You and Me 2017" weaves together fragments that capture the stark realities of human existence, exploring themes of death, love, memory, and societal change. This sequence of poetic vignettes provides a multifaceted look at the struggles and intricacies of contemporary life, offering deep reflections through brief, potent lines.

The opening phrase "depression tartar" conjures an image of persistent, uncleanable residue, symbolizing the lingering, often unnoticed effects of depression. This imagery sets a somber tone, echoed in the subsequent vignette about staying "behind the camera in order not to participate," which speaks to a desire to avoid engaging directly with life, a theme common in modern existential angst.

The line "your former F-student, your nurse as you battle to live" suggests the circular nature of life and the unexpected roles people come to play in each other's lives. This theme of reversal and interconnectedness is poignant, hinting at redemption and the unforeseen dependencies that shape our existence.

Avoiding cliché while seeking beauty is a recurring struggle in art and life, as captured by "avoiding cliché at the expense of beauty." It highlights the tension between originality and the inherent appeal of familiar, beautiful things. Similarly, "the secret guilt of medical professionals" unveils the hidden emotional burdens carried by those in caregiving professions, who often grapple with their limitations and the impact of their work on human lives.

The vignette about using "comedy to defuse an attack and uplift the dying" underscores the power of humor as a coping mechanism and a source of comfort amidst suffering. This is a reminder of the multifaceted role comedy plays in human resilience.

"Startled to find him looking so different than he had in life" touches on the shock of encountering death, where the physical transformation underscores the finality of life and the disconnect between memory and reality. The ongoing visit to a grave, as described, reflects the enduring nature of love and remembrance, even when it seems no one else cares.

The complexity of human interaction is captured in the vignette about laughter and the fear of missing a joke, illustrating social anxiety and the delicate dance of fitting in. The transition from a heartbeat to a "heart tick—one too loud in bed" evokes the intrusive nature of health issues, disrupting the intimacy of sleep and the comfort of silence.

Watching a loved one sleep while contemplating potential heartbreak speaks to the vulnerability inherent in love, where deep affection is always shadowed by the fear of loss. This idea of impending loss permeates the imagery of "clawing at earth" against the inevitable pull of graves, symbolizing the human struggle against mortality.

The sequence also critiques societal norms and the superficiality of achievements, as seen in "no nest eggs under our diplomas," which juxtaposes the ephemeral nature of academic success against the lasting impact of high-school sports feats. The cyclical nature of moving and memory is poignantly captured in "every U-Haul move exhumes a mess of memories," a reflection on how physical dislocation often triggers emotional recollection.

Daily realities, like "bath-towel scarves" and "layers poking out from flannel cuffs," ground the poem in the tactile, mundane aspects of life, while more intense moments, such as being "punched around by your spouse the night before the start of a new job," reveal the darker undercurrents of personal relationships.

The fear of red lights in certain neighborhoods speaks to the constant threat of violence and the socio-economic divides that create pockets of insecurity. The vignette about love not turning out well for many underscores the disillusionment that accompanies failed relationships, despite initial optimism.

The reconciliation attempts with old friends, who have already forgiven, illustrate the passage of time and the differing paces at which people move on from past hurts. This theme of reconnection is echoed in the scene where "wisps of snow enter with the booted man," blending the cold outside world with the warmth of human interaction.

The image of women balancing bundles on their heads while enlivening their work with competition reveals the resilience and ingenuity of people in the face of monotonous tasks. This is contrasted with the mechanical nature of "drum-machine music," reflecting a societal shift towards automation and the loss of human nuance.

Finally, the poem anticipates a dystopian future where political outrage leads to severe consequences, including the suppression of art and free expression. This chilling prediction underscores the fragility of civil liberties in times of societal upheaval.

Michael Anthony Istvan Jr., Made for You and Me 2017, contemporary poetry, existential angst, societal critique, human resilience, memory, love, mortality, human interaction, poetic imagery, societal change, interpersonal relationships, redemption, humor in suffering, fragility of civil liberties.

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 29)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 29)

In "Shoot me, nigga: I wanna live in your fuckin head forever!," M. A. Istvan Jr. crafts a mosaic of stark, thought-provoking stanzas that traverse the landscape of modern human experience, delving into themes of identity, memory, and societal decay. The fragmented narrative captures a series of intense, often disturbing snapshots that challenge readers to confront uncomfortable truths about contemporary life and the human condition.

The opening line, "Shoot me, nigga: I wanna live in your fuckin head forever!" immediately grabs attention with its raw, provocative imagery, suggesting a desire for lasting impact and a fear of being forgotten. This yearning for permanence and the struggle against erasure permeates the entire sequence, reflecting broader anxieties about identity and legacy in a transient world.

Istvan's exploration of memory and legacy is evident in the lines about degrees rescinded due to atrocities later committed, highlighting the fragility of reputation and the harsh judgment of history. The poet delves into the complexities of personal interactions, from accusations of pulling away too quickly from a hug to the cynical observation that "crows will chase squirrels into the roadkill lane—that smart," illustrating the often ruthless nature of both human and animal behavior.

The sequence also addresses societal issues, such as the rigid gender norms in "a land where tomboys must really be boys then," and the chilling image of "sewage shallow enough now to wade through for bodies of family," which starkly portrays the aftermath of disaster and the search for lost loved ones. These lines underscore the pervasive sense of loss and the struggle to maintain connections in a fragmented world.

Istvan's keen observation of human behavior extends to the professional sphere, where "hatred for this president could result in unsafe-optic professors stripped of degrees." This line, alongside the depiction of professors grading papers in their cars due to encroaching poverty, underscores the precariousness of academic and intellectual life in contemporary society.

The poem's middle section, featuring lines like "clocks ticking and walls closing, you need to get her out so you can poop and have peace," juxtaposes mundane personal concerns with larger existential anxieties, blending the trivial with the profound. This interplay continues with reflections on historical memory and cultural artifacts, where "the museum curator, unable to face his shadow, convinced himself the artifact was cursed."

Themes of social inequality and isolation are woven throughout the poem, as seen in the lines about poverty creeping into academia and the imagined future anthropologists sifting through our digital archives, misinterpreting our online presence as religious totems. This portrayal of our digital legacy raises questions about the meaning and permanence of our digital footprints in an increasingly transient world.

Istvan's poetic voice also touches on the challenges of maintaining family connections amidst economic hardship, as "between family members long-separated, filling the silence takes time and energy, and so the poorest are less likely to reach out." This observation poignantly highlights the emotional and logistical barriers that economic struggles impose on familial bonds.

The poem concludes with a reflection on the human need for validation and belonging, as seen in "that urge to prove one’s belonging to whatever group it may seem to advantage one to belong to," and the poignant image of a dark girl in a white grade-school acting as a note-passer between crushes. This final image encapsulates the overarching theme of navigating identity and connection within a societal framework often defined by superficial judgments and deep-seated biases.

M. A. Istvan Jr., poem, identity, memory, societal decay, contemporary life, legacy, human connection, academic life, gender norms, digital legacy, social inequality, family connections, economic hardship, validation, belonging, modern experience, provocative imagery, fragmented narrative.

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Persisting as Consumed
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Persisting as Consumed

"Persisting as Consumed" is a philosophical and deeply introspective poem that grapples with the complex relationship between resistance, surrender, and the nature of selfhood in the face of overwhelming forces. It functions as a meditation on identity and agency, exploring the paradox that true "persistence" might sometimes lie not in active opposition, but in complete absorption. The poem's power resides in its abstract yet precise language, which compels the reader to confront fundamental questions about existence and will.

Formally, the poem is structured around a central paradox, expressed through conditional statements and rhetorical inversions. The opening lines establish the initial premise: "Only he who resists / has the task of having to endure." This sets up resistance as a burden, a continuous struggle. The poem then pivots with "yet for you to give in completely," introducing the counter-argument. The parenthetical clauses ("with no resistance, at least / while still being you" and "if any sense / remains of persisting") are crucial, introducing the core tension: can one truly "persist" if one is no longer discernibly "you"? The enjambment throughout the poem creates a flowing, contemplative rhythm, mirroring the abstract thought process. The final line employs a powerful tripartite analogy—"(the lion, the wind, the truth)"—to represent the overwhelming forces one might surrender to, ranging from the concrete (lion, wind) to the abstract (truth), each implying a different form of consumption or assimilation.

Thematically, the poem delves into the nature of selfhood and annihilation. It challenges the conventional wisdom that resistance is always virtuous or necessary for survival. Instead, it posits that complete surrender, a dissolution of the individual will, might paradoxically be a form of "persisting"—a continuation not as an independent entity, but as part of the consuming force. This idea touches on themes of existential dissolution, ego death, and the blurred lines between subject and object. The "lion" suggests physical consumption and becoming part of the devourer; the "wind" implies a dispersal and integration into a larger, formless entity; and "the truth" suggests a complete intellectual and spiritual absorption, where individual perception is subsumed by an overarching reality. The poem ultimately leaves the reader with a profound and unsettling question: what remains of "you" when you are entirely consumed, and is that remaining essence still a form of persistence? It forces a re-evaluation of what it means to "endure" or "be," suggesting that identity is far more fluid and permeable than commonly perceived.

philosophical poetry, identity, selfhood, resistance, surrender, agency, existentialism, paradox, annihilation, consumption, dissolution, ego death, truth, will, introspection, abstract thought, human condition, meaning of existence.

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How To Ride a Horse
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

How To Ride a Horse

“How To Ride a Horse" is a contemporary poem that uses the metaphor of learning a fundamental skill to explore anxieties about education, relevance, and the future in an age of rapid technological advancement, specifically artificial intelligence. It functions as a didactic lyric with a metacognitive bent, prompting reflection on what truly enduring knowledge entails amidst unprecedented change. The poem's power lies in its direct address of pressing societal concerns while subtly asserting the timeless value of human qualities.

Formally, the poem adopts a conversational, almost essayistic tone, structured around a central tension between knowns and unknowns. The opening line, "Today is the first time, so we say / as AI leaps, where we do not know / what to teach kids / that will remain relevant," immediately establishes the contemporary context and the core educational dilemma posed by AI's rapid progression. The enjambment here creates a sense of forward momentum, mirroring the "leaping" of AI. The pivot with "yet we do know some things / (beyond how to prompt bots):" introduces the poem's central argument. The parenthetical remark is crucial, directly addressing and dismissing the ephemeral skill of "prompting bots" in favor of more fundamental human capacities. The final list of qualities—"empathy and discipline, / adaptability and critical thought, / teamwork and metaphysics"—is presented with declarative confidence, offering a concise curriculum for future relevance. The simple, unadorned language contributes to the poem's accessible yet profound message.

Thematically, the poem grapples with epistemological uncertainty in the digital age. It acknowledges the unprecedented challenge posed by AI to traditional notions of knowledge and skill acquisition. The titular "How To Ride a Horse" functions as a powerful, anachronistic metaphor. Learning to ride a horse is a practical, embodied skill that requires patience, communication, and a connection with another living being—qualities diametrically opposed to the abstract, often disembodied nature of AI. By implicitly contrasting this ancient skill with the contemporary dilemma, the poem suggests that fundamental human attributes and relational capacities will retain their value, even as specific technical skills become obsolete. The enumerated qualities—empathy, discipline, adaptability, critical thought, teamwork, and metaphysics—represent a curriculum for enduring human relevance. They underscore the importance of emotional intelligence, cognitive flexibility, collaborative spirit, and the capacity for abstract, philosophical inquiry—precisely the domains where human distinctiveness is most likely to persist, even as AI excels in others. The poem ultimately offers a hopeful, albeit sober, vision for education and human flourishing in a rapidly evolving technological landscape.

education, artificial intelligence, AI, relevance, future skills, human qualities, empathy, discipline, adaptability, critical thought, teamwork, metaphysics, epistemology, digital age, technological change, contemporary poetry, didactic, knowledge, learning.

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Schrodinger's Monster
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Schrodinger's Monster

"Schrödinger's Monster" is a concise and chilling poem that delves into the psychological torment of an unconfirmed but deeply felt presence, exploiting the anxieties of domestic life and the peculiar nature of a perceived threat. It functions as a psychological horror lyric, drawing on scientific metaphor to illuminate a very human experience of dread. The poem's power lies in its ability to evoke profound unease through implication and the blurring of reality and perception.

Formally, the poem is tightly structured, using short lines and strategic enjambment to build tension. The title itself, "Schrödinger's Monster," immediately invokes the famous thought experiment, establishing a framework where the "pet" exists in a state of simultaneous presence and absence, a liminality that fuels its terror. The initial lines, "The pet, nowhere (yet everywhere, despite fogger bombs), / never grew more terrorizing—" immediately set this paradox in motion. The parenthetical "yet everywhere, despite fogger bombs" highlights the futility of conventional efforts to eradicate it, emphasizing its intangible and pervasive nature once it's loose. The subsequent list of domestic disruptions—"dinners of doubletakes, / movies missed in side glances, / romance unignited by candle—" vividly illustrates the pervasive impact of this unseen entity on daily life, showing how its potential presence contaminates even intimate moments.

Thematically, the poem explores the concept of fear amplified by uncertainty, but crucially, initiated by a concrete event. The "panopticon decade / after the denial of an empty tank" is the core of this dread. Here, "the denial of an empty tank" is the initial moment of horror, the chilling realization that a contained threat (like a poisonous spider in its tank) is now unleashed and its whereabouts unknown. This immediate, visceral knowledge then transforms into a prolonged, internalized terror, where the "panopticon" metaphor suggests a constant, self-imposed surveillance. The inhabitants feel perpetually watched or preyed upon, living with the omnipresent potential of the monster's reappearance. The terror, therefore, isn't purely external; it is psychological and self-perpetuating, stemming from the initial, shocking absence. The final, fragmented line—"Mo-om, where’s—?"—acts as a chilling ellipsis, implying a child's innocent question that is suddenly fraught with unspoken dread, suggesting the generational transmission of this undefined fear. The monster's power comes precisely from its indeterminate state; it is most terrifying when its existence is unconfirmed yet its effects are undeniable, existing in a quantum state of "both dead and alive" within the minds of those it afflicts, all triggered by the initial, terrifying discovery of its absence.

psychological horror, fear, uncertainty, Schrödinger's Cat, paranoia, domestic dread, unseen threat, existential anxiety, panopticon, liminality, perception, imagination, unconfirmed presence, mental anguish, contemporary poetry, empty tank, immediate terror.

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Don’t let anyone tell you that real life is lacking in poetic interest. This is exactly what the poet is for: he has the mind and the imagination to find something of interest in everyday things. Real life supplies the motifs, the points that need to be said—the actual heart of the matter; but it is the poet’s job to fashion it all into a beautiful, animated whole. You are familiar with Fürnstein, the so-called “nature poet”? He has written a poem about growing hops, and you couldn’t imagine anything nicer. I have now asked him to write some poems celebrating the work of skilled artisans, in particular weavers, and I am quite sure he will succeed; he has lived among such people from an early age, he knows the subject inside out, and will be in full command of his material. That is the advantage of small works: you need only choose subjects that you know and have at your command. With a longer poetic work, however, this is not possible. There is no way around it: all the different threads that tie the whole thing together, and are woven into the design, have to be shown in accurate detail. Young people only have a one-sided view of things, whereas a longer work requires a multiplicity of viewpoints—and that’s where they come unstuck.—Goethe (Conversations with Eckermann)


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